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We get to Guardsman Donnic, who just seems to be standing around in the keep doing nothing. Instead we just run into walls by accident, accidentally navigate the wrong way and eventually learn to use the minimap to follow the gold quest mark. We sort of dander out of the room, expecting the whole building to suddenly go on fire and dragons to appear to try to punish us for protesting a quest that completes one hundred feet from Aveline. "I'll walk a hundred feet to him," Sophie Ellis Bextor says, sort of shrugging. She has a very pained look on her face the entire time she's discussing the issue. "That's none of your business," Aveline says, in her clipped Scottish tone. "It must be something important if you're going to all this trouble," Sophie Ellis Bextor says. It's the sort of 'quest' that your best friend might give you when you are both eight and playing at being mages and assassins in the playground. He is in the next room over, pretty much.

Guardsman Donnic is situated just down the hall from Aveline's room in the keep. Hawke, a fully kitted-out high dragon-smasher, is asked by her best friend Aveline, a warrior and Guard Captain of Kirkwall, to go and give a package to Donnic Hendyr, who is a guardsman. This quest is particularly interesting because if you think of it as a 'quest' that Aveline, the stern ginger Scottish widow, is giving you, it's a very frustrating one. The Long Road is a companion quest in Act 2 of Dragon Age II that pops up just before you turn in the quest Blackpowder Courtesy. (This did not make Dragon Age II battles more enjoyable.) (This is probably not Sophie Ellis Bextor's fault.)

To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Most battles we encountered were accompanied by my singing 'Murder on the Dancefloor'. It turns out Howard made the main character, Hawke, a rogue assassin and a spitting image of Sophie Ellis Bextor. So we went back home to play The Long Road. Howard explained to me that Aveline's crush on a coworker in Dragon Age II almost broke his heart. This will contain spoilers for Dragon Age II.

I found myself in The Mess asking Howard which games he liked that expressed something about the relationships between people. The Lengths is, amongst other things, an exploration of the world of male gay escorts based on real conversations with sex workers illustrations and dialogue of the feelings and life of someone who lives to please other people. This week I am residing in the Isle of Wight, working with the artist Howard Hardiman, author of The Lengths. I usually discover the best stories about games over a quiet drink with a friend.